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Frois-Naidu...tales of a hermit rockstar 19 January fy09The start of fy09 is at best the suckiest...hope it doesnt get any worse.Else i would be writing more stuff here...here on this wall of pain.Its been awhile since i wrote on this page.Since all my negativity will be channelled here and well i have been making more entries in my other blog so this one is almost dead.
Whats bad about this year??More separation from family and frens.Good in a way then ..its easier to sieve out the real & genuine ones.Thats how people are when theyre up on higher ground they seem more pleased and enjoying that they forget about their previous states in life.So give me a fucking break then...if ure down and out or have sad stories please dont come to me.I hate seeing msn or sms which "say how are u?How have u been doing"That sucks ...it isnt the best way to start a conversation.
Well that being said,i hope for everyones sake there are no more retrenchments....well at least i noy for where im at.Well if there is one,then probably gonna join the zoo or become a flight steward and see the world.I realli dont intend to go back doing part time shit jobs as before...its frustrating.And youre mad at the world but it doesnt give 2 fucks.
Well hope things do get better...especially that thing with my ear,that 1.3k infection.I cant start bring the dog for more runs soon,return to the gym,take better composed shots and play more rocking tunes on my tele.
  0001.JPG) 8 September Forget to rememberWell it's my first gym session today at california fitness.Have been thinking awhile actually of whether to take up the membership.Cos of the price and if i am realli going to benefit out of it.Well convenience is a plus factor...and well its near town and thats probably another big plus factor on top of that.Watching movies..shopping...trips to the bookshop and yes to church.Dont realli need much company i should say at this point of time...everyone is just so full of themselves.I mean its a real world,when people are so called on cloud 9 the earth matters not.
It'll be my 3 years working at HP how much have i accomplished...and how much have i been able to nurture myself as person?
I ve learned alot..yes alot.Apparently this is not enough.After a 360 turn i feel im back to where i am..the beginning.Searching...searching once again.For a lost treasure...When one is left with emptiness in life all that can be done is to speculate.That sucks!!I want to have an entire control of my future.Its a great tendency for human beings to forget sometimes...forget to remeber?Yup,just like the song says.Oh yeah duke-nus is doubling its intake this year and they'll be another a few uni's coming up in the near future.How does one win the rat race?Be a cat,be a totally different breed..be unique.
PS : Time to start clearing my phone book
16 May Finally....Finally got my k9...was looking hi and low for this particular breed and now i finally found the italian greyhound.Was on a wet sunday afternoon at pet movers at pasir ris...
Was feeling so bored and no matter rain or shine i wanted to head dwon to farmway 2/3 at pasir ris to look for one of my choices of dog breeds, preferably a terrier.Cos i didnt really want a toy dog.To my amazement i saw two italian greyhounds in a cage move about like some tasmanian tiger.Wow my number 1 choice,hich i had previously lost all hope of locating!No second tots,but i think i should say i tried very hard to control myself and not rush into things and get the dog .Asked the guys around for some advice and qns on the breed.I got the male one in the end.Caeser...a name i had chosen long before.
I feel that the breed is a true sight hound rather then part to of the toygroup(if you take a look at Caeser,ull noe what im talking about).My interest in dogs leans towars the hounds realli,their spectular skill and unique abilities, be it sight or scent makes really want to own one.And yes if i had a choice i would want a deerhound,wolfhound and at the top of my list a...greyhound.Since im not able to get one,might as well settle for a miniature...haha 24 April What goes around comes aroundHey girl, is he everything you wanted in a man? You know I gave you the world You had me in the palm of your hand So why your love went away I just can't seem to understand Thought it was me and you babe Me and you until the end But I guess I was wrong Don't want to think about it Don't want to talk about it I'm just so sick about it Can't believe it's ending this way Just so confused about it Feeling the blues about it I just can't do without ya Tell me is this fair? Is this the way it's really going down? Is this how we say goodbye? Should've known better when you came around That you were gonna make me cry It's breaking my heart to watch you run around 'Cause I know that you're living a lie That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find... What goes around, goes around, goes around Comes all the way back around What goes around, goes around, goes around Comes all the way back around What goes around, goes around, goes around Comes all the way back around What goes around, goes around, goes around Comes all the way back around Now girl, I remember everything that you claimed You said that you were moving on now And maybe I should do the same Funny thing about that is I was ready to give you my name Thought it was me and you, babe And now, it's all just a shame And I guess I was wrong Don't want to think about it Don't want to talk about it I'm just so sick about it Can't believe it's ending this way Just so confused about it Feeling the blues about it I just can't do without ya Can you tell me is this fair? Is this the way it's really going down? Is this how we say goodbye? Should've known better when you came around (should've known better that you were gonna make me cry) That you were going to make me cry Now it's breaking my heart to watch you run around 'Cause I know that you're living a lie That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find What goes around, goes around, goes around Comes all the way back around What goes around, goes around, goes around Comes all the way back around What goes around, goes around, goes around Comes all the way back around What goes around, goes around, goes around Comes all the way back around What goes around comes around Yeah What goes around comes around You should know that What goes around comes around Yeah What goes around comes around You should know that Don't want to think about it (no) Don't want to talk about it I'm just so sick about it Can't believe it's ending this way Just so confused about it Feeling the blues about it (yeah) I just can't do without ya Tell me is this fair? Is this the way it's really going down? Is this how we say goodbye? Should've known better when you came around (should've known better that you were gonna make me cry) That you were going to make me cry Now it's breaking my heart to watch you run around 'Cause I know that you're living a lie But that's okay baby 'cause in time you will find What goes around, goes around, goes around Comes all the way back around What goes around, goes around, goes around Comes all the way back around What goes around, goes around, goes around Comes all the way back around What goes around, goes around, goes around Comes all the way back around 23 April EqualibriumWell im sure you know how many people like leading a life of fast stylin profilin lifestyle and they suddenly drop back to earth.If you have been having things your way for long,well hope it comes to you.Of course there are exceptions as some dont really deserve it.It was strange me that me and my two cousins hung out together at a club last wednesday.This group was a rather odd,i feel as if we had not like done this sh*t in a long time.And well the usual the topic of whos attached and who isnt poped up...i used to think that my cousin had one of the most perfect relationships in the world.When everything was too good to be true,sh*t happened...honestly i dont know what went wrong.
Life and evrything else mus haf a balance evrything must be in a state of equalibrium.If one is to succeed in life he must not only be a creature of iq but a one of eq.What joy is there with working or being friends with a smart person who has a lousy or worst yet no character.Might as well jus be well off and independent.If you've been doing the same sh*t since forever,playing a fool with people and not giving a rats a*% about people.Well its time to change.You may find yourself on the losing end soon!What goes around comes around... 19 April M91Things always happen when u least expect them to...i miss my cat very much.Well to me i guess it was my cat...but to sister,it was her friend or perhaps her sibling.It feels different nt seeing the basket or her cuddly figure in the corner of the balcony.It will take us quite sometime to get use to nt seeing her when we go to sleep every night or evry time we wash dishes or take laundry from the balcony.She wouild have been 16 this sunday.16 yes!!We had her when my sis was 3 and i was in secondary 1.I miss my cats...all 3 of them...my ginger king,siamese prince and persian princess.Its such a very coincidence since i was just talking to my dad if we could have a dog the day before...and well of course he said no like many times b4. Its fortunate that we are able to receive the ashes after the cremation next week. We will probably place it at the altar..with her picture by it...rip T. 12 January 2007A start to another year...it went better then i expected realli.Did not spend this new year at some rnb club as before realli so freakin' lame.Same bunch of crowd and over played songs that were worn out more than a decade ago.Yes it went well...listening to go old american 80's rock at hooters,so so gd...oh no so very good.Old habits die hard and well some people just dont change...haha just leave them be.Losing good old friends and misguided relations are all 2006.2007 is is time for a change...no routines...no plans...jus spontaneous actions.Meet new people and widen your circle.A step at a time.F&# negativity...its all about positivity and reality!! 17 November Will vs AbilitiesIt's been a tough couple of weeks for me...have been doing some thinking really.I jus feel like im in a comfort zone at my job...(hope i don't sound rash)i would like to move on get promoted and get on with something new.Probably if i was studying then it's a different matter then i'll jus be concentrating on how to pay my fees every half yearly.Well i'll take moving over up studying any day...the ghost of my past will come back to haunt me really,so thats why i work like a coolie everyday.Pls for crying out loud i'm and n level,,,ITE student who spent an extra year at ITE and jus scraped tru poly by the skin of my teeth.I believe in working hard than trying to show my brain juice to the world.You see...my will does not match my abilities.Thats what im afraid of in life.
Was discussing with my good friend from poly about a balance in life...well he's studying having a job and managing a relationship.Dunno how he does it really.He's a tru frined really for trying to make time for all those around him.Nowadays i start to see people for who they are...i can see the arroragance in people once they get in a realtionship...Be it guys or girls!!!Dont show your wings to me im not interested.Cos when u weren't in one...or are not in one.Youll come back down to earth trying that bonding thing all over.Get lost!!Check it out people who are not in relationships also try showing their rhino skin arroragance.Honestly...Do u really think u are better of person right?!Passing all those nasty comments about me.Look at yourself and live again.So the best is just to keep a distance.I will find a way out myself... 14 November John MerrickWas watching the Elephant man last evening...i believe the potrayal of the character was quite acurrate in much sense.As he(John Merrick) was shown as an intelligent person and capable of reading and writing and not a reflection of his surface image.Is it true that his mother was struck down by a herd of elephants whilst having him??Have been looking for some information regarding this,but was not able to do so.It was sad though that he onli lived to be 28.Towards the end of the film it shows John lying down horizontal whilst going to sleep.Apparently he died from suffocation while sleeping,though it seems so accidental.He was unable to sleep horizontally due to the weight of his head, but he might have tried to do so to imitate that of a normal behaviour. 23 September Stairway to BombayMy last days was of ict was indeed a very sad one when my friends and i had to part ways.Well anyways what a terrfic 8 days we had out at sea....Malacca straits,andaman sea,bay of bengal and the arabian sea.Well initially you know how it was draggy and all that but less than midway through it became enjoyable.The company and late evenings chats and drinks was fantastic.I guess after 5 years i mus have forgotten some of my vocational stuff.But gained a handful back after a few days and it realli was like rding a bicycle.Being up there doing the bridge watch and at times looking at the stars.Alot of tots flowed in through my head...well i wanted someone to miss being away from home like a girl.I believe i was so F%4king wrong in missing the wrong person wasting handphone calls and sms's of hight toll rates...enuf of that realli.
After all the training we were rewarded with two days of shore leave when the ship was at anchor...my impression of the bombay was a little indifferent i must say.But Levis,adidas,nike and reebok stuff from the boutiques are so cheap realli.Got my self a jacket and jeans from levi's and some sports t's.The food oh yes is to die for...the chicken/mutton brani and chicken curry rice.It was fodd hich money could never buy.
The best part of the trip...was my first flight...back hm...above the clouds on a plane!! 7 June Guidance once aginThere's going to be a new shift swap again...its not going to effect me,i hope.I was very happy with my previous shift realli...but after my good friend went off for his studies and i was pulled out i hope i don't go back there.It isn't anything offensive...its just that things seem a little different now.In a few mths time there will be so many new ppl running rnd in the line...sincerely hope everything runs smoothly.
Qualifications and entertainment is not gng to get anyone there...plus show voting.Only hard work...teamwork...and comitment.That's how i was bred in the world before i came here...and intend to cultivate these ethics here.Save $$$ work urself up and be somebody that's what my mum always says to me.At the end of the 12 hours go home and resume your life..or at least try to.I have been so terribly hit with how i was unemployed and was not able to get a stable job for something like half a year.It's crazy but sometimes i get flashbacks and memories jus thinking about it...
I thank him for everyday of my life that followed prior to that moments...father...i have two more things to ask of u...pls send me your guidance once again 6 June SpecialI haf been single too long to let such things like this slip by...and well being single for all my life has cost me something inside of me(being negative and no sense of faith)...and so if im ever in one...i will make it special 7 May In the dustAnd God created us in his image and likeness and also gave us for a desire for companionship.But why is he denying me?Is it because he thinks that since im not able to be happy on my own then i won't be in a relationship either.I dont get it sometimes...Does singleness make one unhappy or jus the absence of the joy of romantic relationship make one unhappy?
I mean it is only right since that he is my father and my maker and i should ask it of him and never think that anything is too great,far fetched or at worst too small for him.Being in a similar scenario of at least four times i just want to know why(if he can tell me that is,that i have failed)...is it to be expected??That a silent unknown party would once again appear from nowhere and leave me in the dust once again 5 May Important List in LifeThe most destructive habit.............................Worry The greatest Joy...........................................Giving The greatest loss...........................Loss of self-respect The most satisfying work.....................Helping others The ugliest personality trait........................Selfishness The most endangered species............Dedicated leaders Our greatest natural resource......................Our youth The greatest "shot in the arm"...............Encouragement The greatest problem to overcome.......................Fear The most effective sleeping pill..............Peace of mind The most crippling failure disease.....................Excuses The most powerful force in life..........................Love The most dangerous pariah.........................A gossiper The world's most incredible computer...........The brain The worst thing to be without.......................... Hope The deadliest weapon..............................The tongue The two most power-filled words....................."I Can" The greatest asset.............................................Faith The most worthless emotion..........................Self-pity The most beautiful attire.................................SMILE! The most prized possession............................Integrity The most powerful channel of communication.....Prayer The most contagious spirit..........................Enthusiasm The most important thing in life..........................GOD
Agree?? The most important thing in life..........................GOD....YES The most powerful force in life..........................Love......??? 19 February St Anne's and Pulau PinangI took me quite a awhile to get settled in and to write about my penang trip during the chinese period new year.Well have have not been to malaysia for almost 10 years since right up til before i ended my national service.Why all of a sudden i had decided seems a little of a comlicated thing to explain.Number 1 being i have wanted to visit St anne's church at Bukit mertajam for quite sometime but w/o my parents or my family jus from my own accord.And definitely not during the feast season!!To crowded and quite impossible to share that moment at the church grounds.An secondly well...i jus wanted to get away for the new year. And for the most part of it...it was a road trip...my colleague drove for something more than 10 hours right up to Pulau Pinang.And worst yet after his night shift...correction,he left some way during the end bout the last 2hrs.And yes i woke up late and had to get ready in about 15 mins.Attacked my a swarm of bee whilst driving...bird poo on the front screen...speeding ticket...meeting with an accident.We were suppose to arrive right before dinner...in the end we made it at about 9pm.Oh yes! We fired crackers and the rockets too.And about time too.The last was at Borneo back in 2002,when i was with the Navy. Penang Hill...well my intentions were jus too get shots of the hilltop and jus some nice scenes of the bridge from above.Did manage to get a few in the end and the rest was mostly at historic places...mengkuang dam,ke lok shi,sun god temple...and yes st anne's.I stood in aware for the moment and walk slowly around the grounds slowly capturing images in my head and also on my FX-8.I still recall of the stride up the little hill,which was no easy task i must say.The leverage of the stairs was a little scary though on the way down the ...but it had a very sacred feel on the way up...the stations of the cross on little mounds and gloom of the trees.The old church was so much different from the new structure which was housed ona lower plane.The bell tower,current church and admin buldings had a touch of a medieval era about them.Travelling 800km for this yes...and maybe another 800 more.Took quite a lot of pics and not too mention a bottle of holy water avaible by taps at the foot of the hill....for I did not think that i should ever return to that moment and and that place
Dining with Eels.One bitten twice shy,twice bitten...Didn't know much about Valentine's day for a very long time...and probably won't to for sometime.Was having dinner with some company and the table behind us held a group of women probably in their 30's,having a small gathering.The raising their glasses in a toast that i didn't catch.Thay seemed happy and very much delighted with that of each others company.I look afor a moment and felt sad...i cannot relate why are there so many single people around,has a past event left them scarred and battered to move on...or were they left w/o given an ample oppurtunity to move further with their relations with another.Does tha having of many ex's make one a more likeable person?Or does not having even one makes someone a weird and totally 'marked out being'.Using my self as a test subject...i would say both.If u were a guy or girl walking around on Valentine's or perhaps a company of a similar sex friend,there would be a high chance u were single.And would ask themselves,where is the other??
Yes it is a special day...i would not lie about that...renewing one's love for another and also the best time to profess one's love for another.I mean how does anyone find something in common for another to have that connection.Financial and job status?Physical apperance?Race?Religion?Influence from peers and family?
As i was at Clarke Quay and couple's raise their glasses to a toast and share beutiful candle lit dinners and share fond memories of their past..and also present one another with memorable gifts.I start to wonder of my road...of where i came from and how it may turn out to be...such along time it has been that i have long to search for the one person in my life.What can i expect??A chance,yes.A chance i would have to take.What does being in a relationship mean...as opposed to being single...
So it is much of an important thing to make sure you're with the right person for you.And with that with the right person, you can have the right balance of support/involvement and freedom. I have been reading a book called Lucky in Love with general guidelines..from wat ive seen it stresses very much on spontaneouty.And amongst others...
11 February Seize the DayDm A# F Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost C Dm A# F It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over G C F I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time C Dm But I'm too young to worry G C F These streets we travel on will undergo our same lost past Dm A# F I found you here, now please just stay for a while C I can move on with you around Dm A# F C I hand you my mortal life, but will it be forever? Dm A# F C I'd do anything for a smile, holding you 'til our time is done Dm A# F C We both know the day will come, but I don't want to leave you G C F I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time C Dm But I'm too young to worry A# (a melody, a memory, or just one picture) Home...yesWell it's Friday nite and i'm stiil at werk, another 2 hours or so to go.I can't help but think if Valentine's Day this year might be different the previous years....Although it seems like a day when a girl receives gifts and chocolates from guys.I would not like to make of it as such a one sided affair.Its about the two people and that's what's important...feeling appreciated and giving one's appreciation to another.Yes time and time again ive heard many people say...hey if your in love then everyday is Valentine's.Oh please give a break!!Well its' obvious the one's who say these words of comfort are the one's that do have partner and dates.
But what can i say if fate has deemed it to be this way...i can't stop it...i won't bother sending cute little msgs to gal pals or past suitors or worst yet try to drop hints to some to get a date so that i won't feel left out once again.
Home??yes i will be home this year or so it may seem... 4 February Right Now...I guess ones mans trash is the next mans treaure
one mans pain is the next mans pleasure
one say infinity the next say forever right now
erbody got to get it together man Im just taking it in another strange hotel lobby again put my luggage on my back i dont know where im at im in world where we all change just like that 21 January The White CityHave been busy doing up my rm since the start of this year...some may find it strange as to why i'm doing this after the new year and the Christmas season.Well it's jus the start of the year and probably it'll take me a year or so to complete with the task that i'm doing...well it's going to require sometime...correction alot of time,honestly.Jus did up the walls with 2 varitions of colours.And have jus started doing up the stencilling and border trimmings(some intriguing designs which i got from Spotlight and another,the white tree of Gondor which i did lay out by myself,with a little net and lotr dvd reserach.Well intend to get the furnitures and ornamental stuff before i move on to the upholsetry and fabrics for the room.Well lets see what i require....
1)A new oak desk with preferably a hood for the pc housing and the monitor(as i have intentions to get all the 'modern' stuff concealed to get the look.
2)A cupboard/showcase to house my 12" and medieval figures
3)Lotr or medival sword,preferbaly William wallace 'Braveheart' longsword or Frodo's Sting
4)A tapestry...most probably scenic if nt gothic
5)Sheep or fake fur for use as a floor mat
6)Angel candel holders and book endsMaybe from antique shops(may cost alot...so will have to scout)
7)Curtains(windows and door antrance)
8)Cushions for the bed and a matching bedsheet and comforter(have bt decided oin the design,probably veri grand with deep maroon and gold trimmings)
9)A little a chandelier with Candle-like lighting
10)Trunk at the foot of the bed(maybe for shoe storage or my art storage)
11)Stanined glass window look(will be getting the transfers from a diy shop,since the more 'real version' may seem a little to permanent
12)And lastly...a bed with a board with leafy or floral designs carved...(costing a bomb!!hope not) CrownlessAll that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadow shall spring;
Renewed shall be the blade that was broken:
The crownless again shall be king 25 December Why??What a Christmas eve meal my family and myself had...leg of lamb,baked potatoes,'baby'cabagges.One of the best i've had in a whilst.Well was happy that i did make a the service to St Mary's instead,partially cos i had wanted to take a picture of the crib and a few other images of the church.I mus say it was quite a good performance by the children's ministry to put up the christmas pagent and assembling of the choir(reminds me of my childhood choir days at the old church(",).Anyway my sis finally got her guess bag,me...my soccer jersey.we got a shirt for my dad and my mum...well she doesn't want anything,except for some 'pocket money'...haha.
Since today being the 1st day of Cristmas i m telling myself...pls try not too forget...the purpose of Christmas.Why ppl thinks its genuine to put up the tree and not the crib...have turkey instead of lamb.And enjoy the countdown instead of a church celebration...why?why?has all this come to pass. 17 December 1st dayHad quite a tiring day last Thursday...it was a 1st from my leave period.Did enjoy a little, though i had sucuumbed to some illness towards the end...haha.Bot a superman and a another vintage t from zara.Tot the superman one kinda looked really kewl,something from that had been worn during childhood days.Finally got the ideal angels that i was looking for for my creche.paid $25 for them...kinda X i think.but couldn't seem to find any better,not even at Astoria.had managed to get them from the Christmas Fair at Takashimaya.Talking bout this...is everyone just cashing in on the season.Looking busy getting gifts n shopping...oh pls.Anyway enuf of this bickering,wen to catch King Kong,and boy it was good....Had and LOTR feel to it realli. 10 December Remember where u came from...Before even opening my mailbox this evening i was informed verbally that the appeal to allow me to remain in my current shift was in vain.I did receive a reply though saying the justifications in allowing such swap between the shifts.Whether i i like i think im right or wrong in disagreeing...it matters not.Cos sometimes everthing happens for a reson..and we are not able to see clearly more than often.Erm...as in the current agenda i onli think and believe that this may turn out to be a milestone to learn something new.
"Comfort isnt always the best teacher".I most some how try to move out of that little hole that i came from.And be a better person and ts...not jus a human and a technician.At least i hope i can set an example for people to work more with EQ rather IQ...that will get u no where.Remeber sitting in a room of applicants and see myself looking at the number on my form....200+ that's what it said.I will never jepordise any part of my working relations or peer friendship with anyone to go back there...6 months w/o a stable job earning less than $400 a month.I look at my paycheck sometimes nowadyas and reminds me of my cheque colection as of before.
And if im eva lazy or jus sick of everything i jus say deep in my heart
remember where you came from..." 9 December ...the beginningJus received some new information as i was reading my mail this evening...that there will be a shift swap of personnels.And i will be amongst those included.This will be close to the 3rd time that this has occured and i have 'escaped' it more or less.Erm...some how i think i will not be so lucky this time around.It is not that the opposite shift is not any gd in terms of working relations or jus basic peer bonding.But why break a team that has worked so well in the past and one that will no doubt be a much better one in the future,as each of us matures accordingly in one another's area of expertise??I feel that it is jus a gift that i am still i'm in current shift for almost a year although there have been some minor changes here and there.A Filipino,a burmese,a chinese and a singaporean... Everthing has happened for a reason...wat a team we have,and im proud to see us troubleshoot major machine downs when the need arises.I do not question as to why this is so, but onli say that it is a godlike fate we are on the same team and hope we can remain to be so...
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